people have stupid names nowerdays like the other day i was served by a person called

mmmm denum

what happens?

Q: what happens when you wipe a wet wipe across a saleswoman at a department store?

A: her skin starts to bubble with fresh oxygen from all the make up they put on

Q: who are you if you are fat and have glasses, and playing the piano

A: Elton John at a tribute act

going shopping

I like to go to stores and mess with the salespeople, get them back. They mess with you all day. I go in the store, right? And I just try stuff on and walk around in it. They can't tell you how long to keep it on.

why is 6 scared of 7.

because 7 8 9.

big candle/little candle

Q: What did the big candle say to the little candle?

A: I'm going out tonight

Knock knock

Who's there?

Britney Spears

Britney Spears who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Oops I did it again!

Doctor, Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room!

Doctor: Well, go in there and tell him I can't see him!!

police being rude !!!!=]

well the other day I was driving and talking to my friend on the phone. then comes this police car flashes its light and my freind asked what was that, so i then had to pull over which disturbed me from my chat. so i then told the officer "look mate im on the phone don't be so rude and disturb me"

hope u like it

short joke

Q: which man one the human race?

A: Adam (from Adam and Eve)

Q:What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather?

A:Drizzle!

doctor doctor joke

patient: doctor doctor im going to die in 30 seconds

doctor: ok ill be there in a minute

competition joke

once 3 men won a competition and they're prize was to go up in a helicopter and go down a slide and whatever they said on the slide they would have at the bottom. so man 1. went and said gold and landed in a pot of gold, man 2. went and said silver and landed in a pot of silver, then man 3. went and said weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and landed in a pot of wee.

why did the cookie go to the doctors?

A:

because he was feeling crummy

a pie must be there on the second tuesday of the chinese new year

i everything !!!!!!!!

why are so many things begin with an i it probably stands for internet or something on the lines of computers but there's iphone ipod iplayer itouch children of the future will think that an idea is a product from apple!!!!!!!!